An ex-pathological people pleaser

Running

I've been always running

Running from my dreams

Cracking my child self

Pretending is ok, left aside my own heart

Realized that while my body

One more time, makes me stop

Stop from catching my breath 

From the bleeding wounds 

Never really saw how bad it was

Till see from the distance

Me

Always cutting who I am to fit in

Biting my tongue 

"Don't be so emotional" they said

And different from all the straight ones

My heartbroken would only mean

That I was being punished by the lovers I choose

I was just paying for my sins 

How dare you judge my choices that nothing has to do with you?

Despite all the shots - don't know how -  I still believe 

That love can change the world after all

And I can finally breathe and admit

How deeply I loved and still do

How it felt like dying all the times I didn't feel enough

Saw my words running from my hands

Choked by everything I just let go

Trying to sugar coat the truth

That it cut deeper than Mariana Trench

So I let it drown

Felt every holiday

Like a third-degree burning 

Bringing to experience life like I never did

Till I was ready

To dug my way back by love

Taking of the weight 

Everything I am not is behind now

Matters of life and death

Lost some battles but refuse to sink 

And stop sharing the words I need to set free

Put my child in my arms and let her have some fun

Be performative, dreamer, sweet and open to love

Everything is fogiven 

And I also ask for forgiveness too

We were doing the best we could

I drop the weapons

I don't wanna hurt anyone

Just let the flowers bloom...